Holiday Cheer... Or Holiday Fear!

I never thought I would be the girl to just sit at home and do nothing. I desperately want to be out working and contributing to our family's financial needs, but thats just not happening right now. This economy is so depressing and the search for a job is even more so. I've applied to so many places and still not one job offer or even an interview! I don't know what I'll do if I don't find a job soon. I want to go out and keep looking but I have to be cautious with our gas. I hate to waste gas to just drive around aimlessly when I've done that and gotten no where. I spend everyday constantly checking my email, checking my phone, and checking out several different job sites just hoping that I'll be able to find something soon. I hate just being here at our apartment by myself. I want so badly to be around other people and actually DOING something. Its so stressful especially with Christmas in less than 2 weeks. I've still got a present to buy and I'm having no luck finding something nice at a price we feel good about. I just don't know what to do. I'm going insane in my own home. I want to have plans for the day and things to do to keep me busy! Ya, I can clean and do laundry and get meals ready to be made but I need something else to happen that takes me out of the house and brings in some money! 

I just need to make it to Christmas. I am so excited to spend time with Joseph, making memories and starting new traditions and just being together and cherishing the love we have for each other. I know that is whats important and the rest will work out eventually. I'm also really excited to have all my brothers and sisters here soon! Christmas Eve will be wonderful! We'll go sledding and have dinner and watch Christmas movie's and I can't wait! Then on Christmas, Joseph and I will open our presents to each other and have our Christmas breakfast :) then we'll head to good ol' La Verkin where the whole Gubler clan will be singing in church. Wow, just writing about what's going to happen makes me feel so much better about what's happening right now. Sure things are tough, but hey we love each other and we have enough to make it through. So I guess my Holiday Fear isn't as hard to deal with when I focus on the Holiday Cheer.